It's Tough to Get Closure, but Books!

I finally got closure on my father's death since the funeral had to be rescheduled for several months later due to my mother's fall and hip recuperation. Still, I now sit and stare at a slender stalk of a waning flower as it leans into the dying basil plant on my windowsill. It is a tender pose, full of support for a fellow life form fading away. I am filled with questions about the dying. Who do they lean on? Not every human is equipped to sit with people at the end. Are there people who make the burden of the last breath easier? Is it the nurse who whispers to the patient in the middle of the night even though they have a breathing apparatus affixed to their mouth and can't speak? Is it a family member, friend, or confidant? Who gives you the courage to let go? How does the bud finally loosen and bloom, only to know that the petals will fall once that choice is made?

This post is supposed to be about closure. The end of the (school) year is happening, and all of nature is rioting to push out the weeds, the weak, the weary. Only the green, strong, and energetic will make it. For heaven's sake, do not let the bastards get you down. Chaotic energy is abundant and runs like a weed-whacker through the middle of everything. Creation and destruction are everywhere in this week's solar storm. We are upended by everything, and we are egotistical creatures who think we can separate ourselves from nature and Earth. Not so. 

But I am not a nihilist. I am certain I chose this word because my adolescent son is going through an 'optimistic nihilist' stage (lol). However, let me soften the edge of this grief-stricken post and remind you that awareness may save you from overwhelm and panic. Stop and take a breath. Become aware that all is chaos and energy right now. Just stop and BE in this moment. Be the bamboo in the wind that sways and comes back into balance. Be the dandelion that won't budge and isn't scared of the string trimmer fueled with force. Observe. I don't know what awareness comes from; we all are aching to know the mysteries of consciousness, but I do know that it's calmer than the chaos of rising spring energy– it is the majestic oak tree unmoved by the windstorm.

Finding calm is as simple as choosing a different thought. And, of course, without practice, it can be painfully difficult because it requires jumping the tracks of your brain's routine, which aligns itself with patterns it has turned into a map. The grooves are there; it takes the same tracks every time. What profit would there be in a new track? The brain believes that going in the opposite direction will be scary and it wants to protect us from harm and views anything out of the norm as a potential threat. But the brain likes novelty, too, and the good news is it can be retrained. Ah, yes, but patience is required. The payoff is worth the wait.

In the toughest time of the year, find your peace. Do it despite it being challenging. The times that test you are the best times to grab hold of your peace and calm. It is the difficult times that show us the way to ourselves. Right now, I am grabbing my favorite way to self-soothe: books! In the #100daysofmay, I reach for my summer reading list and sigh in relief. Peace has found me. I share my reading list below if you are interested.

If you are struggling to figure out how to self-soothe amidst the hustle and bustle of the end of the year and find yourself overwhelmed and emotionally dysregulated (who, me?), check out the short book I wrote, which includes the top 13 tips I used to cultivate my sense of calm over several years.

BOOKS! (SUMMER READING LIST)

The list below represents my reading goal for this summer; as of this writing, it is not complete but close. I admit that I have a stack that is always larger than my reading time. Rare is the year I get through a full pile. Yep, it's true. I am a voracious reader, but I only make it through part of my list each summer. But the list is a motivator, enabling choice, which is necessary for me to read with pleasure.  Here is the list's beginning. Normally, I have a full picture of books for this post, but it is not as simple this year since many of these are e-books or will be checked out from the library or borrowed from my kids. It's important to manage one's book budget. This list is not ordered except for the first three, which are non-negotiable so I can have engaged and lovely conversations with my boys.

-Babel - RF Kuang (my first choice)

-The Poppy War - RF Kuang (recommended by my younger son)

-A Storm of Swords - George R. R. Martin (re-read; recommended by older son)

-Tales from the Cafe - Toshikazu Kawaguchi

-True Wealth by Ken Honda

-Upstream by Mary Oliver

-Lessons in Chemistry - Bonnie Garmus

-The Reason I Jump - Naoki Higashida

-An Accidental Pilgrim- Maria Caponi

-On Grief and Reason – Joseph Brodsky

-The Fears– Kevin Prufer

-15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership (work read)

- Anxious Generation (recommended by a friend)

WHERE DO YOU FIND YOUR PEACE?

I truly want to know where you find your peace. What steps have you taken to secure it? If you are a paid subscriber you can leave a comment. If you are a free subscriber, reply to the post and I will share in the next newsletter what friends and readers have said helps them during turbulent times.

KNOW SOMEONE IN NEED OF CALM?

Please share this post with a teacher, caregiver, or friend who might want to get started finding their way to peace.

Be well.

~Bridget 😇